What I am referring to is not a level of trust where you are revered like a cult leader. That is not healthy. I am referring to a healthy working relationship.
I can honestly say that parents/players have trusted me for the most part over all these years and they've stuck around. And they made the right decision. I've had a few that didn't trust me and left. And they made the right decision too.
Should a parent expect their child to have a coach they can trust? YES! Learning something new requires players to step out of their comfort zone for a short while. If they do not feel the environment will allow them to safely expose themselves while learning, they will never develop. By "safely exposing" I mean putting themselves in a position where they might make a mistake and receive constructive encouragement and feedback to achieve success. An environment that eliminates the fear of failure is what you want.
A player who trusts you will work harder and extend themselves into areas unknown with less apprehension. If you have a team of players who trust you and they all work harder and support each other ... guess what?
What are your motives when you coach? Do the players believe what you say and believe IN what you say?
There is another aspect to being a trusted coach. Are your assistants comfortable supporting your philosophies at training and games? Is your club comfortable referring prospective players to you or defending you? Are your parents comfortable referring you to other parents?
What if somebody shows doubt? Is that a lack of trust? I say NO. People will have doubts, but every time you prove the doubt wrong you raise the level of trust.
Put the soccer, sports and coaching aside for a second. Think of what it does to a child's impression of the world every time they meet an adult they can't trust. If you coach at school and are trusted, think of what it does for a student's receptiveness in class if they discover that their teachers are trustworthy.
For me, I need players and parents to trust me. I've converted struggling players to positions where they excelled well into adulthood. I've made some mistakes, but not enough to lose trust and confidence in myself when trying to help players succeed. I've had 2 teams in 24 seasons where the group, as a whole, did not trust me and I removed myself at the end of the season. There was no friction or broken relationships, but there was not a sufficient level of trust either.
My goal is simple: I want every player to have success in soccer when they play outside of my program (school soccer, high school, winter league, college/university, adult, another club or as a guest player). I need players to believe that is my motive when I try things to make them more successful as an individual.
Why is trust important?
- For your program to supported by club/community
- For your program to be supported by parents
- To keep players interested in coming
- To lower as many of the players' learning barriers as possible
- To make coaching more enjoyable
- Share your philosophy
- Staying true to your philosophy
- Communicate and answer questions promptly
- Be empathetic
- Be organized
- Make sure everything you do is for the players' benefit
- Be sincere in your willingness to adjust for the betterment of the players
- Be prompt in supplying information to stakeholders (players/club/league/parents)
